Endless Cravings

It was a lovely Halloween with all of the candy and treats, which could tempt anyone during the entire month of October. For me, it wasn't any of those dastardly treats that got under my skin or into my stomach, it was my mother's homemade chili, rolls, homemade sugar and pumpkin cookies, and even doughnuts (which I don't particularly like) that sent me reeling into the big black hole of bingeing on Halloween night. I reminded myself, before heading to my mother's party, that food is not love, that I can choose what I eat, that if I stay away from sugar I will be able to hold to my healthy goals only to last – hmmm let me think – two minutes before I was devouring the cookies and moving on to everything else with vim and vigor.

I left my mother's party with a stomachache and that gnawing negative mind chatter, "I always do this; I have no discipline; what is wrong with me?" It reminds me of the doomed King Sisyphus from Greek mythology who was punished by being cursed to roll a huge boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, repeatedly for eternity. In my most dramatic self talk, I repeated, "Will this always be my battle? Can't I just eat one and be done when I am at my mom's? Will this ever end?"

My first response was that I will always be fighting my mother's cheese, butter, cream and sugar. But my more educated and calm response was that no, I know what it takes to change neural pathways in my brain. This change is hard business, but it is achievable. We must commit to the process, the time, the patience and the endurance, whether it is a day, a month, a year, or even many years.

Neural pathways in our brain, which are linked to cravings and comfort, are like ruts in the brain. It takes lots of driving over them, grading them, and filling them in to create new pathways. It took years to create the old ruts and, although with conscious effort it can be shorter, it takes a lot of hard work to change them. Sometimes we give up and consider ourselves "doomed" simply because we don't realize how long it really takes. We feel defeated and give up. Well, I'm here to tell you, don't give up! Just keep going. If you haven't reached the transformation, it doesn't mean your efforts have gone to waste. Those efforts are smoothing out those ruts, and if your neural signals do get stuck in part of those old grooves, learn from it quickly. Get right back to the task of changing your responses and neural pathways.

It can be done. I know it, because I work on it daily. Is it easy? Actually, once you truly understand cravings and what is causing them, it is easier. When you understand what is happening physically in your mind and body, it is easier not to beat yourself up emotionally and to stay your course. Keep pushing the rock up the hill, and you will be surprised when one day it just lands in a nice grassy area and never budges again. Keep going; you can do it!